Thfire.com – iNews

Mischievous child, a  parenting problem which has touched all the parents in the world has indeed become more like a challenge each and every day.

Normally, parents are very forgiving in nature when they see their kids making a mess with neighbors or other kids. But what they fail to understand is , if they did not teach discipline to their kids, they might end stubborn as they grew up or even become a local gangster. Dont take things lightly when it comes to your kids.

We would like to concentrate on a child’s behavior at the age span between 6 to 8.

Where to start

Always remember, kids who are discipline at the age group of 5 are always discipline in nature as they grew up. So start the lesson of life by teaching discipline to them.

But How?

I will give you some instruction which i believe will help you a lot. If you have any other tip apart from the below mentioned kindly comment us so that we can add your tip with your name on it.

• First of all, spend your time with kids. Speak to them, try to know them better.
• Develop a daily rapport with your kid. This might help you to better understand your child’s thinking and feelings.
• Punish your kid to an extend if they misbehave.
• Dont be hard on your kids. This might motivate them to deliberately misbehave. Its like if you scold them ‘not to do a thing, they will do that’. So take  a calculative risk on your kid.
• Finally, reward your child’s good behavior. This will really motivate them to behave. But the thing is they will expect rewards from you every-time they behave. Don’t disappoint them

Many mothers are under so much pressure to appear like perfect parents that they cover up how much television their children watch or what they cook their families, according to a survey.

Such “white lies” also extend to how much “quality time” mothers spend with their partner, website Netmums said its survey of 5,000 people suggested.

The parenting site said mothers often made each other feel “inadequate”.

“Mums need to be more honest with each other,” said Netmums’ Siobhan Freegard.

The website is calling for a more honest approach to family life and an end to the guilty subterfuge of mothers who feel unable to achieve an idealised view of parenthood.

Sleeping, not baking

Almost two-thirds of those surveyed said they had been less than honest with other mothers about how well they were coping and almost half covered up financial worries.

Almost a quarter of mothers admitted to downplaying how much television their children actually watched – and one in five “span a yarn” over how long they played with their children.

Ms Freegard, co-founder of the site, said there had been another example of a mother who was exhausted and went back to bed during the day, but explained her failure to answer the phone as being because her hands had been covered in flour while making cookies.

The need to keep up a good impression among other parents becomes even more important for mothers who are living far away from their own extended families, she said.

But the survey suggested that this fear of not being a perfect parent was not driven by images of celebrities in glossy magazines.

Instead the sense of inadequacy was caused by peer pressure from other mothers at the school gate or the nursery, the survey found, with more than nine out of 10 comparing themselves to other mothers.

The website is launching what it calls The Real Parenting Revolution, which encourages parents to accept the reality of how they live, rather than feeling bad about not living up to a myth of perfection.

“It’s the imperfections that make us human,” Ms Freegard said.

‘Profound pressures’

One mother, known as Becky, who responded to the survey explained that it was difficult to be honest: “My friend was telling me about how she limited her son’s access to the PlayStation and I agreed, telling her that I also limited my son to an hour a day, after homework.

“After I’d said it, I kicked myself for not telling the truth – I mean, it’s no big deal.

“It’s just very difficult to put your hands up and admit that you parent differently to your friends.”

Parenting expert and sociologist Frank Furedi said that parents were under “profound pressures” from society. He said that a culture of parenting “incites parents to lie and to turn child-rearing into a performance.”

He added that even with the best intentions, reports such as these increased the pressure on parents: “Parents are always being judged in one way or another – including by this report. The real solution is to lay off parents and publish less reports.”

Psychologist Dr Linda Papadopoulos said that it was common for people to feel that they were being judged in a variety situations. She advised parents to avoid comparing themselves with others.

“You’re in competition with no-one but yourself – all you can do is the best for you and your kid.”

Parenting Advice

Parenting does not merely mean giving birth and rearing the child from birth till adulthood nor does it mean providing all the needs (physical) of the child without any hesitation. Many parents feel that their responsibility ends once the physical needs are met the child grows on its own.

Parenting starts even before the couple get married. Even the animals have sex and give birth to offsprings. They take care of the physical needs and also protect the offsprings from external dangers till certain period and then leave them to themselves. Human beings are not like that. God has given us brain and the power of thinking and differentiating between what is good and what is not and then acting. How many are doing this?

The main problem is awareness. Many are unaware what to do and when to do what? As I said earlier Parenting starts much before getting married assuming that one decides to get children after marriage!!

When one gets married lot of adjustments are to be made physically, emotionally, financially, socially and psychologically too. Initially it may be physical attraction or infatuation, later many more things come to light which may result in disappointment and frustration for both. Even if it is a love marriage, because, while courting, normally one will present the best side of self and the other person may not know the actual situation. The realities crop up in due course of time only. These are the reasons that most of the marriages now a days are resulting in breakups. In the olden days it was taught and practiced that whatever be the situation one should adjust and stick to the partner under any circumstances. Now that situation and mental make up has disappeared.

To avoid all these problems, it is advisable that the couple give some time for both to settle down, understand each other as well as each other’s financial position, social status, family and personal commitments etc very well before deciding to have a child. Major portion of the child development depends on the family atmosphere. If there is friction, tension, misunderstandings among parents, financial strain, and frustration etc. it will definitely impair the fair and healthy growth of the little one. Why deprive the innocent child the basic requirement of healthy family atmosphere? Instead, avoid the little one from coming into this world! or try to postpone since there are many acceptable and safe methods available now.

One should be aware of one’s habits and health history before deciding to have a child. Unwanted habits like smoking, drinking liquor excessively, consuming drugs, having some serious illness in the family which has the chance and threat of being transmitted to the little one should be assessed before hand to either take precaution or to avoid with a reputed doctor. Because all these or any of these can have a very bad and irreparable effect on the child. Why take risk and then regret over it through out the life? One should opt for quality of life rather than quantity, which is the problem and available in plenty in India!!

Parenting is the responsibility of both the father and the mother. There is a notion in most of the families that parenting is the whole and sole responsibility of the mother alone, which is totally wrong and unorthodox.

Parenting is beautiful but requires lot of sacrifice, adjustments, and understanding and realize that it is many times non-rewarding. One should realize the truth and the reality and should not get disappointment. One should realize that we have the responsibility to give the best to our children, to take care of them since it was we who have decided to bring them into this world and not their choice!! One should always opt, wish and hope for a better life socially, materialistically, and psychologically for the children than what the parents had. In order to achieve this goal or to realize this ambition, one has to make many sacrifices. First one should assess whether one is really and wholly ready for this. One should always aim to give the best rather than an ordinary or a below ordinary life to one’s child.

First and the foremost is the financial sacrifice. When a guest comes to the house and stays for a couple of days, one sees the difference in the expenditure and a short fall in the budget. A child’s arrival will make a great difference. One should assess this aspect before deciding to become a parent.

The financial burden will be a never ending and ever mounting process. The medical and the educational expenditure in the present days are so high that one person’s earnings are in no way sufficient to give a decent education and comfortable living to our children. Medical expenditure is unpredictable. Any thing may happen at any time. “Are we prepared for it”, should be the first question. At every stage there will be different types and patterns of expenditure. One should be prepared, plan and should have the capacity to arrange. No use in blaming or regretting later on.

Then is the time management. A child will take a great amount of the time of the parent. Both should think and estimate how much time they can spend with and for the child. Then they should assess whether that time is sufficient or not. If not, will they be able to allot more or how they propose to manage. There is no point in blaming each other later on. Both should give equal importance to each other’s time, ability, professional ambitions etc before deciding to have a child.

They should plan how they propose to manage their respective professions. It is always felt that the mother should sacrifice her carrier to take care of the child. Why? Why can’t the father adjust? All these aspects are to be discussed and decided about, much before deciding to become a parent. One should have the decency, courage, ability and capacity to manage by themselves without depending on others. To become a parent was the decision taken by them not by others and forced on them by others.

The parents will have to forgo many comforts in life which they might have been enjoying before the arrival of the little one. This discomfort or the disturbance should not be complained about or regretted about later on. Socially there may be changes in the attitude of oneself as well as from others around. This should be anticipated and accepted by both.

One should realize that the child is a growing entity in all aspects such as physically, mentally, psychologically, socially and emotionally too. At every stage it will show different reactions. The parents should realize this and be prepared to accept the child as it is and not as they want or like it to behave. Such an attitude alone will result in happiness, satisfaction and disappointment free living.

Parenting is a continuous process and does not stop at a given point of time. It also is a learning process for the parents concerned. One should show balanced emotions and reactions towards the child immaterial of what reaction the child shows. After the childhood days adolescence and then adulthood sets in the child’s life. The parent should be well aware of how to handle at each given point of time. Interfering with their lives, emotions, activities, actions etc will lead to friction and misunderstandings only. One should learn to guide them, advice them and watch. Learn never to insist. The children should be treated like friends and one should earn respect rather than demand it.

After a period time they become an independent individual and the parents become strangers. They may or may not disclose all their emotions, problems etc with the parents. This is a natural reaction and the parent should feel that they have given the right background to their children instead of feeling left out or neglected. At this stage one should learn to involve in the activities of the children rather than talking about themselves and about the past. This will create a bond between the two which is a healthy sign for both. The parents should realize that they have lived their lives, done their duties to the maximum possible limits and have brought their children to a certain level and their job is done. The parents should develop the habit of good hearing and minimal talking!

These are certain observations and experiences that I have come across and experienced in my life and felt that they will be useful if expressed on paper. Certain points may sound little strange but they are expressed by keeping the Indian parents in mind.P

There is an old saying “one is company, two is crowd”. We can modify this and say “one is fun, two is crime”!!!

I will consider that my attempt is successful if at least one person feels that the article is useful and beneficial.

Michael Jackson with his children

Ok! Now that the King of Pop has faded everyone attention has turned towards his children. Questions like whats his children like ? How do they behave ? Was Michael Jackson a good parent ? After all he was the only parent that his children can turn to for any help. Michael Jackson is survied by three kids Prince Michael Jakson(12-years-old), Paris Michel Jackson(11-years-old) and Prince II Michael Jackson(7-years-old) nick named “blanket”.

At Michael Jackson’s Memorial Service, his 11-year-old daughter Paris Michael Jackson made an unplanned tribute to her beloved father. Paris Jackson said in her father’s memorial service, ““I just want to say ever since I was born, Daddy has been the best father you can ever imagine,” she said through tears. “And I just want to say I love him so much.”. As she finished her speech tears poured down and the entire Jackson family hugged her to comfort her. It must have been very hard for Michael’s kids it was with him they spent all the time.

Michael Jackson’s friend Gotham Chopra gave details about Michael kids, he said Prince I was a “Fun kid, and has lot of Energy”, Paris is “very thoughtful, very caring, and very sensitive” and Prince II(Blanket) is “a lot like Michael.”.

A spokesman from National Zoo who accompanied Michael’s Family on their visit to the Zoo in 2007 said,”I was struck by how considerate and nice and normal they all were”

Jackson’s long time body guard Miko Brando has said very positive about Michael’s kids he said,” They are well-mannered, well-behaved kids, They are really level-headed.”

Looks like Michael Jackson the King of Pop was very serious about parenting and made sure that his kids were very well mannered. Michael has also said that he wanted his kids to one day tell the world how great their father was. I guess they will.